Zoe in a year

Today's the day! The day our sweet little girl of life turns 1.

I'm reading a book right now about how children raise adults, and it's teaching me so much about this first year of life with Zoe.

Her mere existence has stripped away idols, produced abundant joy, initiated hours/days/months of pensive conversations, revealed beautiful redemption, and shaped our hearts in a way that desires and experiences the Lord in a much more selfless way. I pray that we are continually humbled and constantly looking for what you are teaching us, Zoe.

I process most things  everything through feelings, it's just the way I function. So I chose to share Zoe's first year through a stream of random pictures, in no particular order. Pictures immediately take me back to that moment in time, and each of these pictures has a distinct feeling and story that I hope to remember for years to come.

Zoe Carolina Smith, you are a gift, a joy, life, and a beautiful picture of God's mercy and grace.

A prince for the princesses

It's been WAY too long since I've last blogged about our lives and the various things happening -- and we've had A LOT happening.

This year we moved to Jefferson City, TN, started our first year working with RUF, joined another church, began the process of making friends, searched for homes to buy...

Transition brings change and Cam and I struggle with change. We take what feels like forever to adjust, but once adjusted we're pretty good at establishing roots. I wish I knew the timeline of our adjustment period, but I don't. We continue to show up, try, and rely on an abundance of grace.

We've had days visiting family

And days of keeping Zoe up and out until 10 during the RUF barn dance

We've had days of pjs, snuggling, and sickness

And days of mountains, friends, conversations, and students at fall conference.

We've had days of sunshine and sitting outside

And days of waiting by the door for daddy to arrive.

We've had days of exploring new things in cold weather

And now days of anticipation.

This April our family will welcome another sweet little girl. This pregnancy has been all over the map emotionally for me. 

Sitting here now I look at the clock and tears start to stream as I realize in just 45 minutes the day of remembrance comes again. November 20th -- the day our first babe went on to see Jesus. This day two years ago drastically shaped our story -- past, present, and future. 

I remember finding out we were pregnant with Zoe and feeling the most amount of redemption/joy/happiness/glory I have ever experienced. 

This time was different. As Zoe approached her 6 month milestone, I was finding out another life had begun. I felt so torn between the joy of life and the goodness that it is, and the sense of being completely overwhelmed as I quickly did the math and realized these two babes will be only 15 months apart. So we took some time -- we took a lot of time -- 20 weeks worth of time. And just yesterday as the ultrasound came up with a healthy baby girl I once again felt that same joy/happiness/redemption/glory as before. What a beautiful thing life is. And though I expect many of our days to be the ones where we wait by the door for daddy, I am tickled thinking of all the fun these two girls will have together. 

The name of my post has to do with Cam's first sermon at Carson Newman. One of his illustrations was in reference to a video that RUF made for general assembly. It shows a student who describes her life as a princess who grew up in a land of ribbons and bows dreaming of her perfect prince. The video's fantastic and there's much more to Cam's sermon than what I'm about to quote...

At the end of his point Cam said, "I'm so glad I get to raise a daughter who can believe in fairytales, in a perfect prince, and in a beautiful kingdom."

And this is where I leave my thoughts -- I'm so thankful Cam and I get to raise a house of princesses who will hear of their perfect prince who can take away their fears and is full of grace. The princesses (and parents) will not be perfect, but the prince will always be. 

7 months

Our sweet girl turned 7 months yesterday. I'm quickly realizing my blog is basically full of Zoe, but that's kind of what our life IS right now. Sure there are dinners with friends, date nights, runs, walks, shopping trips... I guess I just don't take pictures of those things. Something to work towards -- a blog that depicts us as a whole instead of parts.

This month we've been on even more adventures. We spent a week in Atlanta with RUF for staff training. It was eye opening for me -- not in a "this is brand new" kind of way, but more in a "oh this is how my life looks right now" kind of way. A sweet longing would be good words to sum it up. Zoe stayed with an incredible babysitter the WHOLE week! At first it was really hard for me to drop my babe off with someone from 8 am to 10 pm, but I quickly realized even this simple act was a physical example of the church fulfilling the vows they took when Zoe was baptized. We also got to connect with old and new friends who are doing RUF through out the country. These times were absolutely the highlight of training.

We only have 2 more trips to wrap up our crazy summer of traveling. The students come back in just a few short weeks and I find myself dreaming with Cam of dinners, parties, coffees and cookies, runs, laundry foldings, baby holdings ... students living life with us.

I'm spending more time with my camera and it makes me happy. Pictures spark so many memories for me: like the watermelon pictures above where I can still here Zoe giggling and slurping up her first taste of watermelon. And these sink bath pictures -- something about water (or being naked) calms this girl down immediately and there's peace in our home again.

Pictures in July

July has been a mix of chaotic traveling and peaceful nesting, and both have been enjoyable. We ventured to DC on the 4th for a wedding, and grilled veggies from our own garden on the back deck. We've had nights of entertaining full of laughter and conversation, and some walking Zoe around the yard so she can yank on the flourishing 7ft. tall sunflowers. And we'll wrap it all up with a trip to ATL for a week filled with friends at RUF training. July has been good.

6 months

Lately I feel like the one thing that gets me blogging is milestones for Zoe. I'm totally pulling out the cliche, "I can't believe she's already 6 months old!"

We've done a lot in the month of June...
- RUF orientation
- Laura and Jon's wedding
- Our new niece Laurel June was born
- Mom came for a visit
- My 25th birthday
- Date night (the first time someone besides family watched Zoe)
- Friends from STL visited
- dinners with friends

All of those events combined with planting roots here makes for some tired and happy Smiths.

This past week we went to visit Andrew, Kelly, and Laurel. My mom bought us a really nice camera two years ago for Christmas. I will say that I've used it a ton, but have always wanted to do more and learn more with it. I asked Kelly if I could try and take some pictures for her while we were there.

These were just a few that I took, but I'm happy with my first go round. I feel like there are these occasional moments in life where we get a glimpse into "good work". Moments where we see the results of work we've done and it fuels us. When Zoe smiles, recognizes her name, rolls around on the floor... or when I make dinner and Cam has to ask me if I want anymore because he plans on finishing it off. I love these moments where I feel like my work is simply put, good. I felt this after I sent these pictures off to Kelly -- I loved producing something that they treasure.

Today I took a few pictures of Zoe...

I am by no means a expert, but I hope to continue to learn. Taking pictures that I, or others treasure brings me such satisfaction. I finally feel like I'm doing some of the work I, Kaela, was created to do -- for me that's being a mom and homemaker. It's making time for playdates, meal planning, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, hosting, feeding, calling, writing, connecting, and the occasional hobby of photographing and crafting. 

Our life is not perfect and we continue to long for something better, but this season of life has been good to us and I hope to remember it fondly! 

5 months: Summer of travels

I'll use the excuse that we've been on the road this whole summer and therefore I have no time to blog. The reality is, when Zoe naps I'd rather do other mindless things.

Now that Zoe is about to turn 6 months and I haven't even posted her 5 month pictures, I decided a post should happen.

Oh yeah, we went to STL. It was such a refueling trip -- we watched my best friend graduate with a masters in counseling (You're amazing Cat!), we stayed with old friends and enjoyed a dinner just like old times, we stayed with the family I use to nanny for and I don't think a smile left my face the entire time. It was so fun to see all our friends again and introduce them to the babe that they spent years and months and days praying for. Our little girl of life was finally there!

This picture means more than I could ever describe

Fran loved Zoe! I hope these two become life long friends!

I got to dress her for a mini recital and I may have shed a few tears of joy -- I've missed this girl so much!

Cal became an amazing photographer that week!

Zoe has learned to sleep in the Ergo like a champ!

My girls, that belly, so much to love about this!

We officially have a two-finger sucker. I tried the bink since she's been born and she wants nothing to do with it. So I give...Ok girlfriend two fingers it is!

And finally the 5 month pictures. I'm amazed that in almost every post I talk about Zoe's personality blooming. It continues to happen. We met a new couple at church this past week and the wife said, "Oh your little girl is the one with all the great facial expressions". Yes ma'am, that's definitely my girl.

I love that you can see hints of Zoe's now green eyes. I'm hoping they're the one thing she gets from me ;)

You can regularly find her hands on her chest either like this or holding each other -- a trait she's had since she was born

She will only smile at my face, not my face behind the camera. So usually I get strangely cropped pictures like this one of her giggling. 

She's just starting to really want to sit up. I totally forced her to take this one on the couch. Mom just got us that cute little headband -- I think it makes her look like Ezma from Emperor's New Groove... it's my new favorite. 

We are traveling like crazy this summer. I'm hoping to get some pictures of all our trips up on the blog soon. In other news we have a new niece! I CANNOT wait to hold little Laurel June Smith! I asked Kelly if I could take some pictures of her -- let's start praying for my talent now haha. We should see her in the next few weeks hopefully! Zoe has come down with something nasty and if anyone had brought something sick near Zoe when she was born, I would have lost it! So we'll wait until she can enjoy her new cousin too!