He comes to make His blessing known

Cam and I are overflowing with joy to announce a new member in our family.

This process has been a whirlwind for us -- definitely for me with my abundance of emotions. As many of you know we lost our first child around 12 weeks just this past November. 

When we found out we were pregnant with our second Smithling my first response was fear. We wanted children and prayed for them -- even for our first. However, I didn't know if I could wholeheartedly trust again. After a few short weeks Cam and I agreed that life is worth celebrating no matter how long that life lasts. I feel like we spent a lot of our time worrying with our first baby and didn't quite take time to celebrate the life we had for 12 weeks. So this time around we struggle and help each other fight for joy!

Our first appointment we sobbed tears of pure joy when our Doctor immediately found a heartbeat. When she told us our due date was Christmas Day I couldn't help but really feel the effects of redemption --  a piece of darkness being torn from the world and from our very own story. Last year Christmas was a time for grieving and healing for me -- I must have listened to Red Mountain's Christmas cd a million times letting those words really sink in. 

This is the song I remember both struggling with, and at the same time resting in the most. I didn't feel joy or really feel like preparing room in my heart to celebrate Jesus honestly. But the promise in the third verse is what kept this song on repeat -- I could rest in the hope of redemption both now and to come. And though I didn't feel celebratory, I felt incredible thankfulness for the birth of Jesus.

Joy to the world! The Lord is come:let earth receive her King!Let every heart prepare him roomand heaven and nature sing.
Joy to the earth! the Saviour reigns:let men their songs employwhile fields and floods rocks hills and plainsrepeat the sounding joy.
No more let sins and sorrows grownor thorns infest the ground:he comes to make his blessings flowfar as the curse is found.
He rules the earth with truth and grace,and makes the nations provethe glories of his righteousnessand wonders of his love

And so I thought how fitting for our announcement of this new incredible blessing and gift in our lives. We have definitely felt his blessing flow far as the curse is found and we continue to be humbly grateful.
Pray for us and for our little one as we anticipate the coming of Christmas 2013!!

Our sweet heavenly babe

There has been so much going on in our lives over the past 6 months that it's hard to believe tomorrow has come upon us.

Tomorrow was our due date for our first sweet child. June 6th -- Obviously I don't know yet, but I have a feeling this day will stay sacred in our lives for a long time. Sacred -- not completely sure that's the right word I want to use, but for now it's what comes to mind.

We have learned so much about our God and about ourselves through this process. Our hearts that longed for this child and shattered too soon. God seemed so incredibly far from us and like some cruel trick had been played on us in that doctors office. The great hope and joy we had of making it through the 1st trimester to the tragedy of no heartbeat in seconds was devastating and brought up tons of questions. 

Just 6 months out which in the grand scheme of things is actually a very short amount of time --We still ache at the thought of having a heavenly child. We also have seen, and more accurately felt such a strong fatherly comfort from the Lord. We eventually recognized how much greater God's love was and is for our child and felt the tenderness of him wrapping his arms around us in tears. Cam and I reached out to community (friends and family) with great need and they beautifully cared for us each in a very special way. I will never forget how beautiful the Church felt during those initial months. 

This process has also brought the idea of adoption, to more of a plan to adopt. I'm not sure when yet, but we plan on adopting a child at some point. Not because we won't ever be able to have our own children, but more because this process has taught us so much more about our own adoption into a great heavenly family. It's made us aware of how much we treasure the idea of covenant children. I'm sure when that day comes I'll be able to expound on that a little more, but for now it's a simple fondness and desire we have. 

So in all honesty as tomorrow rolls around I'm not sure how we'll feel. I'm sure we'll have moments of sadness over remembering death instead of celebrating life. I'm sure we'll have moments of laughter as we remember 3 months of pregnancy and 6 months of growing together. We'll have moments of just sitting still and trusting in our good God who recognizes this day with us and still cares and has big things in store for us. And we'll have moments of looking to our future and how all of this plays into the greater and bigger story of the kingdom we serve. I pray the Lord will use us and use our babe's story to tear another small piece of darkness out of this world. 

Graduation!

I was going to include graduation in my last post, but who am I kidding -- this is a big freaking deal! My husband worked his tail off and graduated from Covenant Seminary in three years!

These past couple years in St. Louis have been such a melting pot of experiences, emotions, trials, blessings, etc. I really couldn't sum up what they have meant to me in one post, but I'm hoping years from now I can read my blog from these years with a thankful heart.

This guy... be still my heart. I am so incredibly proud of him! We did it babe and you are a rock star!

It was such a festive time -- Cam's parents, my mom, and Cam's brother and sister-in-law all came in to our big city to celebrate this huge accomplishment!

We had to say see you soon to so many good friends -- not good bye, just see ya soon. These people have all had their own special place in our lives and we couldn't have made it through without each one of them. 

I forgot my camera for the picnic the next day which would have displayed a beautiful outside celebration of Cam and four other guys that finished Covenant with him.

I will miss so many things about this time in our life. Seminary was hard and it was good. It was our first two years of marriage. Our first child. Our first full time job. Our first home. Our first friends as a couple. Our first church together. Our first city together. So many first things. STL you will always hold a special place in our hearts. 

Life lately...

Things have been kind of crazy for the Smith family these past couple of weeks. We threw a shower, had our last dinners with STL friends, GRADUATED SEMINARY, packed up our first apartment, and moved across the country to FL. 

Phew...

So hang in there with me through this season of blogging. We are trying to avoid buying internet for the summer since we don't really need it. That being said, my blogging will happen when we come to the local McDonalds. Oh life :)

Cat and Taylor's Shower:

The day was beautiful along with all of the people who came to celebrate this very special couple. Cat and Tay get married in less than a month and I'm so excited we were able to throw a party to celebrate them -- who they are and what they mean to so many people. 

We themed the party "Game Night". I'll admit it was confusing at first, but turned out great! Cat and Tay received all kinds of games and gifts to host their own future game nights. 

These ladies were great partners in hosting. Abby and Ally are both bridesmaids in the wedding as well. Looking forward to the big day in less than a month!!!! (June 22)

Picnic in the back yard

Picnicking has been one of my most favorite things to do in St. Louis. I'm sad we're leaving right before picnic season hits full throttle this year. So as one last hurrah we picnicked in our back yard.

I must admit that I go slightly over board when it comes to our food selection. This wasn't even all our it. Disclaimer: Picnic foods are my favorite!

We had some visitors/beggars that joined us for dinner. 

Overall a beautiful night in our back yard with delicious food and perfect company!

Food trucks and The Seven Gables Inn

This weekend was filled with fun. Cam played in a basketball tournament Saturday morning -- I got to watch 3 out of 5 games. They came in 3rd over all and honestly it was just exciting to watch the hubs be competitive. (wish I had brought my camera)

Quickly after, we met our friends Glen and Audrey at a food truck festival! I had never heard of these before, but I will be sure to look them up from now on and possibly never miss another one if I can help it.

It was like going to the fair, but for grown ups ;). All I really want to go to the fair for these days is for the food -- in abundance. These trucks not only had food, but delicious food! We had some soeul tacos (spelling?) and Cajun food. I was slightly bummed that the cupcake truck had sold out by the time I made my way over.

We left the food trucks, headed home, packed our bags, made a quick stop at Trader Joe's (for treats), and ended up here, The Seven Gables Inn.

Last month a sweet couple from our church overwhelmed us with an incredible get away gift. They paid for us to stay a night here, at this sweet little inn. We felt so privileged, honored, cherished, celebrated... just lavished in a way I anticipate in heaven :) 

Our room

We don't sleep in a king size bed normally so this 5'5 girl and 6'6 boy were little kids on Christmas morning entering into the room!

The cute little bathroom

A little study nook

We're so thankful for the way the Lord gives abundantly to us and others. Matt and Katie have always been so generous to us. They've modeled being good stewards of money and displayed what it means to give away what you've been given. Thank you for this beautiful gift and this beautiful memory. 

Dessert night

One of the many great things about our time in St. Louis has been our home and it's location. In short, we've been spoiled. Recently, I feel like I'm scrambling to soak in all the benefits before we leave.

So the other night I met a close friend at the dessert bar right by our house. (Literally you walk out the gate of our street to get there) We ordered little chocolates, hot chocolate, AND a delicious chocolate scone. Needless to say, we rolled ourselves out of the place. 

I so enjoy this girl and my time with her. I love her heart. I care for her story. I'm honored to be called her friend. 

I'm thankful for these moments that come in abundance during this stage of life. They are some of the places, people, and times I will treasure and hope to share as we move on. 

PS: If you haven't yet, you need to run not walk to Bissinger's in the Central West End.