We have a lot of changes going on in our neck of the woods. We've been living in PA almost all summer, our sweet girls are getting older, we went to a marriage conference, we bought a house and moved into said house, we're painting and remodeling... Changes make me incredibly sentimental. If I had to take a guess as to why I'd say it's because change makes me stop and realize what I have or don't have already, and therefore what I'm gaining or losing with change.
And just when I thought this would be simply another update post on where our life is now, I realize it's so much more. This time in life feels like that moment in the Harry Potter books where you first realize the tiny details are making a story so beautiful you can't help but fall in love. (For all of you non Harry Potter people, just fill in the blank with your own book or movie that has great plot development). That moment in the movie where the main character gets a blank look on their face and you see them flashback through years of memories that brought them to this point.
Questions start developing with change: How in the world did I end up here? Who are these people with me? Where is this going? Am I going to make it?
But after a few minutes of my mind spiraling out of control, I realize there is an author in charge of my story that is giving me the most beautiful glimpses of what he's doing. And this is where my title comes in :Why my heart is sold to RUF.
8 years ago I moved 12 hours from everything I'd ever known. I moved into a dorm in the middle of nowhere South Carolina asking all of those questions above. Over the next 3.5 years I plunged myself into a campus ministry that I knew nothing about -- not because it was the flashiest or most "exciting" ministry, but because it felt like what a home should feel like. There was a campus minister whose family did life in the middle of nowhere SC because they cared about college students and they cared about the gospel. There were older students who knew my name every single time I showed up. There was music that at first totally turned me off, but eventually became the words I sang in the midst of sorrow and confusion. And most of all, this ministry taught about Jesus and His love for me. It was the first place that told me you don't have to work to be here. The first place that told me grace is free and the work you're trying to do has already been done, perfectly. This is a place for rest ... a place for those who have grown up in the church, and a place for those who are simply interested in asking questions. This is the place I became adopted as a daughter of a good King whose desire is to heal the broken and will stop at no cost to do so.
Towards the end of those 3.5 years I did as every college student does -- look for a job and plan for the future. Little did I know, that same campus ministry that stole my heart, also had a male intern who walked beside me as I learned about Jesus. He was a friend I grew to respect, and the one I found myself cheering on as he applied to seminary in hopes of doing vocational ministry. At the same time his heart grew for me and my story -- and in the jumble of a few weeks his internship ended, we started dating, and he left for seminary miles and miles away. 7 months later we were engaged, and 4 months after that we were married. Now this girl who just became a Christian 2 years prior was married to a seminarian and moving once again to a place very unknown.
We spent three years in seminary -- they were good, but such hard times. Change was happening left and right. At the end of our time in St. Louis, we eagerly applied and anxiously awaited the response from RUF. We waited in complete confusion for a year wondering did we make the right choice? Are we supposed to be doing something else? We have a tiny little girl now -- what does that mean for our future?
Fast forward a year and here we are. We moved our family to the middle of no where Tennessee for a job that we have to raise our own support to do. Why? Because our hearts our sold on what RUF is and does. My story has come full circle. We will settle into this new home where my girls will learn normal things like how to climb stairs, how to ride a bike, how to write their names... but they will also learn what it means to have college students in their home and space constantly. They will learn that daddy is out of the house 3 nights a week teaching those same students about Jesus and His love for them. They will learn that meals will be shared with others. They will learn that we travel a lot telling people about what we do and asking them to partner with us to care for those same students. They will learn how to love Jesus and do as Jesus does -- not perfectly, but beautiful messy way.
Suddenly this normal update post with pictures of the girls in our new home, has become a post of thankfulness for the details in our story and how RUF has played such a significant role through it all. I'm thankful for our little life now working for RUF and how it allows me to care for the "Kaela's" out there doing this crazy thing called college; searching for where they belong and who they belong to.
