What a loaded question! I mean come on... I can't give you the text book answer when you throw a question like that at me! What is the text book answer anyways? When I respond do I look defensive or searching for approval? Should I just push it off and say I don't know.
These are the millions of things that ran through my head just one week ago when my husband asked me this question. What a joy it is to be married, but how painful the relevance is sometimes. Cam asked me a simple question and my immediate response is to come up with the "best" answer.
There is FREEDOM in the Gospel! Say what?! You mean I am free to love the Lord in my imperfect ways? You mean I don't have to have the text book answer?! Wow! I am so thankful for my husband, his care for the gospel, his love for our God, and his love for me.
What was my response you ask? A tearful sigh of... I am so afraid. I have so many fears that come before my fear of the Lord I can't even begin to count them. Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of looking bad, fear of non-security... and the list continues. My husband who loves me dearly -- enough to challenge my frozen fearful self has been so patient as the Lord continues to teach me to fear Him above all things. A God who continues to love a wayward people who reject Him day after day. A God who has adopted me into His family and therefore declared me special. A God who desires to see me take joy in the freedom of the Gospel -- that is the God I serve!
So what makes me think of all of this now? My new job is to love on a little child. To basically be her mama when her mama isn't able to. Part of my daily routine with Frances is to spend some time reading. Today we read The Jesus Storybook Bible. As I started at the beginning and read of God's unfailing, unconditional, unwavering love... I teared up and pray that the Lord would give me wisdom and strength to teach and display the same love to another one of His children.
so great to read Kae, thanks for the reminder.
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