Provision

At the end of last week I hit a real low when I can honestly say I just didn't believe God would provide. It had only been two weeks in St. Louis, but each day that I spent at home was another day that I felt completely unworthy. I interviewed for a job at a local pediatric dental office on Friday and fell in love with it. I had another interview on Monday for a local bakery, but all these offers just seemed to good to be true. I kept telling myself the lie of your aren't worthy of this, there is no reason for them to hire you, and because you don't believe God wants good things for you and will provide you're going to be stagnant and learn your lesson.

My hopes were set high on this dentist office and I was scared. I sent out an email to close women in my life who I knew would be faithful in prayer. My prayer request wasn't one of let me get the job, but more of please pray for my heart right now and the lies I'm feeding myself. All too often I convince myself that I have to earn my place before God and really am just unworthy of Him or anyone else unless my performance or personality says otherwise.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon and I got a call from the dentist office. Without a single thing on my resume or even an amazing interview I was offered a full time job doing my dream. God is a good father who is merciful and loving to His children. He provided my dream job that I did not earn by my performance or personality, but simply because he chose to provide it. I have a feeling many of these lessons are to come and though my initial reaction is to be fearful the promises of scripture continue to ring true in my head.

This is the song I sang over and over this week.

Come boldly to a throne of grace,
Ye wretched sinners come;
And lay your load at Jesus’ feet,
And plead what he has done.

“How can I come?” Some soul may say,
“I’m lame and cannot walk;
My guilt and sin have stopped my mouth;
I sigh, but dare not talk

Monday I start my new job and am reminded once again my God is faithful, my God is good, and for no other reason than Jesus I am able to boldly approach the throne of grace as a wretched sinner